Being on the other side.
Well
it has finally happened! I am on the
other side of nursing as the “family member who is a nurse”. How many times have I said that over the
years and known that that could be a good thing or a bad? Now my father has to have triple bypass
surgery this week and now I will be facing those same feelings from the nursing
staff that will be caring for my dad. Certainly,
my experience will benefit my dad.
Nurses are better equipped in dealing with chronic illnesses, we “know
too much” and are better at questioning (Weiss, 2005). But I don’t want to be the overbearing family
member that becomes more of a problem then the solution. As a nurse I know that families can be the
best allies in caring for a patient, but they can also be a hindrance. Now being on the other side, I don’t want to
be a hindrance! Healthcare has changed
over the years and now with allowing families to stay with the patients in the
ICU, it has become a partnership in providing care (Weiss, 2005). Some nurses are really good and partnering with families but others are reluctant to share, or relinquish control over the situation to a family member. I want his stay to be a positive one, though he will be in pain, I don't want him to feel any stress over how he is cared for.
Has
anyone else felt this dilemma or had an experience positive or negative with having
a family member in the hospital?
Weiss, B. (2005). Balancing act. When a family member requires
your care. Rn, 68(4), 63-65.
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your family. I can relate to being on the other side. In fact, I started this class on the east coast in Florida, so my dad could have a total knee repair. My aunt, brother and myself arranged for six weeks of surgery and recovery time to take care of him. He did very well, and I am glad to say that he is recovering without complications. I can share with you that four years ago, I was on the other side when my fathers wife was diagnosed with stage IV lung, liver, brain and bone cancer, and being very familiar with end of life care, it was very difficult to be the "daughter" knowing as the nurse. However, I did speak only the truth to my father, even though it hurt. I feel like my father appreciated the truth, rather than false hope.
I like that you have added to your blog already. Keep up the great work.
Kristen
Kristen,
DeleteI understand how hard it is to not let the nurse inside come out when dealing with illness. Sometimes our knowledge can get in the way, especially when we know to much. It was really hard during the time Joe was sick and passing away to make his mother understand that he was on his last day, minute, hour, and that no he would not get addicted to pain medication. She thought that we were "killing him" by advocating to Hospice to make him more comfortable. Anyone in the room could see he was in agony. I agree with you in that providing family difficult news with honesty is the best way to go. There is nothing worse than providing false hope.
-april
Hi Susanne,
ReplyDeleteSending you best wishes, hopefully you father is recovering by now. Being hospitalized is one (if not) one of the scariest experiences a person can go through. It seem to me it can bring the best or the worse out of people, depending on their coping skills and personalities. I experienced it many years ago with my grandfather and it really opened my eyes and my heart to the power of therapeutic conversation between staff and family. I think many times, people forget that even though the family may be a health care provider; at that moment we are just a granddaughter, daughter, or sister.
Thank you for sharing and best of lucks.
Please keep us posted.
Hi Susanne,
ReplyDeleteSending you best wishes, hopefully you father is recovering by now. Being hospitalized is one (if not) one of the scariest experiences a person can go through. It seem to me it can bring the best or the worse out of people, depending on their coping skills and personalities. I experienced it many years ago with my grandfather and it really opened my eyes and my heart to the power of therapeutic conversation between staff and family. I think many times, people forget that even though the family may be a health care provider; at that moment we are just a granddaughter, daughter, or sister.
Thank you for sharing and best of lucks.
Please keep us posted.
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteI understand how frustrating it can be when family interfere with the care we try to deliver. I have even been called "a glorified Walmart greeter" while in triage. It infuriates me that I have to waste time validating my educational background. However, with that being said I have been on the other side when my father needed to have his Aortic valve replaced. I wanted to make sure he was being appropriately cared for. It is hard to not let the nurse in you come out, especially when CV recovery is not your area of expertise. Good job on the blog. I have enjoyed reading your posts.
-april